I made the decision to spend some time trying to tap into some inner source of creativity and motivation but also calm and decided that being in San Diego for a few days was the way to accomplish that.
It does help to have a space where procrastination doesn’t exist because no one needed anything from me while I was there. I could snack and stare out the window or meet up with a friend to get excited about what we can work on next or sit in a huge bed listening to a true crime podcast while I clean up some digital mess or I could take a long stroll along a beach and sunburn my face because I didn’t intend to take that walk when I left the hotel and didn’t bring a hat.
A different environment is helpful during a regular year, but this break from family and my house and the allergens in that Central Valley air was overdue and so needed. I know I mentioned this before, and some of you watched me do this, but I am still in awe that my husband and I committed to FOUR MONTHS of live streaming on Mondays to talk about race, diversity, inclusion and relationships. I am still tired! And we are tired of being within a few feet of each other day in and day out for so many months. So I imagine you are all similarly tired from your own serious business and nonsense alike. My point here is that if it is possible to get away from your usual space for a little while, do it. Let’s be more like olympians who know their strengths and take care of ourselves.
When I started writing this, I was listening to the podcast “Algorithm”, remembering that I wanted to get up at 4am to watch the U.S. Women’s National Team in a quarterfinal soccer match against the Netherlands. Why do I ever say these things out loud? I suddenly felt the need to write these thoughts down around midnight, and there I was, getting the thoughts out and feeling a sense of loss already that I wouldn’t be waking up in 3 hours. I would set the alarm, and I was absolutely pissed off about it and did not get up. I reset the alarm, though, and caught the end and cheered. It wasn’t part of the mini break plan, but it helped me feel accomplished- I was up early to enjoy more hours of sun-drenched southern California.
I did do the thing I wanted to do, and I feel lucky. There is still panic because the work isn’t paying right now, but I know things are picking up and programs still need implementing and education still needs planning. What I realized is that I was stuck when it came to getting the ideas out to make more sense in the real world. The thoughts do not stop; the ideas do not stop. But I was having trouble keeping them organized and when it becomes overwhelming, all that work my brain does to create is wasted energy. I feel like I can’t say enough about how much of a difference it made to my mental peace. Take care, friends.
